Most people get married without knowing if they are truly a good match with their partner. Your romantic feelings override those important discussions about roles, values, and major life issues. You overlook the charming quirks. There’s nothing like the feeling of falling head over heels in love. During this phase of your relationship, you are excited about the future you have with your beloved one. You have hopes of living a long life with them, and you are both optimistic you will beat the 50% divorce statistic and stay married, but if you think about it…
Couples can get so focused on the wedding day itself, that the rest of marriage–the rest of your life–is skimmed over. You’re happy, maybe a little stressed (about the day itself), and focused on creating a nice day–your wedding day. After that, you optimistically think, you will live happily ever after. So much effort and focus goes into the big day, that afterwards couples don’t have a plan for the rest of their lives.
“You have to work at marriage? Nah,” you think, “I can’t imagine it will sour or at some point it will become boring or it’ll end in divorce. It can’t happen to me.”
I want you–and everyone–to have the relationship of your dreams.
How do you make sure you succeed in your partnership if there’s that nagging little statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Oh, and just so you know: the statistics are higher for second marriages.
Hold up–there is good news! There are many things you can do (that are proven by research to work) to ensure you have a wonderful, loving, healthy, and long-lasting marriage.
Just like the vow of commitment you took when you married your partner, these 8 secrets also require you to commit to doing them on a continual basis. You can’t just do them today, or this week, then stop because you forgot or they are just not working as fast as you’d like them to.
These seven tips (see below) you can use right now to take your relationship from good to great!
You can use these secrets to change your relationship–starting today!
Two significant changes you can make, and they’re two of the themes of these secrets, are:
to focus on your partner more (because everyone has a need to feel love and to feel significant)
to be more positive
I don’t like picking favorites, but if you asked me who is at the vanguard of the latest in marriage and couples theory and therapy it is Dr. John Gottman. Dr. John Gottman’s research has been extremely instrumental in finding out what works and what doesn’t in relationships. A lot of the information in this article has come from his work. He and his team of researchers can predict with over 90% accuracy, which couples will divorce and which ones will stay together (read my article on How Dr. John Gottman Predicts Divorce for more on this). By the way, the theories behind Imago therapy are fascinating, but the exercises are not realistic. Now combining these two theories/therapies into one…
Is this you? You’re in a relationship that is blah and has lost its spark. Or, you’re on the fence and you’re not sure you want to stay in the relationship. Lots of people begin to address their relationship issues first by looking for information that’s out there–in books, a program, a workshop, or in articles like this one on the Internet. There’s nothing wrong with that, but what if the things you read aren’t proven or even accurate? What if they are based on information that is years or even decades old? How will you know what helps and what doesn’t?
Sometimes things get too uncomfortable so one or both partners reach out for help with a counselor or a coach. Lots of people go to marriage counseling only after their relationship has gotten into the danger zone–or close to it. By then, at least one partner has their foot out the door.
If you’re not too sure about committing to counseling or coaching, but you know your relationship needs attention, COMING SOON I’ll be offering 3 downloadable programs you can use right away in the privacy of your own home–and you don’t need to have your partner do it with you.
These step-by-step programs have tons of proven tools, strategies, and information that really work!
The 3 different programs are for these types of couples:
THE NEXT STEP You are thinking of taking the next step to long-term commitment–you are thinking of moving in together or getting married. You love this person but you want to make sure you “get off on the right foot.” To make this work and take your relationship to the next level, you want to be sure you have the right foundation in place.
RELATIONSHIP REJUVENATION You are married or in a long-term relationship. Maybe it’s boring. You want the spark and passion back. Or, you’re arguing or ignoring each other and you’d like to argue less and stop hurting each other as much.
RELATIONSHIP RESCUE You are in a committed relationship but you are “on the fence” about whether you should stay or go. You and/or your partner have thought of leaving the relationship. You might even be thinking it is too late to save it. While all marriages may not be made to last, you’d like to make sure that you can say you tried to rescue your relationship. If you determine that it can’t be saved, you’d like to separate on good terms with the clarity, tools, and peace of mind that you tried your best to succeed with this relationship.
