Have you ever been told that you are “so in your head.?” Do you find yourself lost in thought or so preoccupied with your own thinking that it’s difficult to be present to the people or situation around you? This is from overthinking.
This used to happen to me. I used to dwell on the past or re-play situations that I couldn’t change. I would get lost in thought and engage in a lot of “what if” thinking like “what if I just said this” or “what if I didn’t do that” When we overthink, we create anxiety about the past or future. We mistakenly believe that re-playing the negative scenario will somehow make it better. It doesn’t. Instead, it creates overthinking which keeps us trapped in the past or future, and never available to the present moment.
Overthinking can cause anxiety, depression, and a lack of connection in our relationships. We unknowingly isolate from people when we are not present. We miss important information, and we can misperceive situations.
One of the best ways to eliminate overthinking is to practice daily meditation. You can do this in really simple ways. For example, when you wash the dishes be fully present in the experience. Feel the temperature of the water, smell the sound of the soap as you clean the dishes, watch the water fall on the dishes. Engage all of your five senses.
The practice of meditation gets you out of your head and fully into your experience. It eliminates overthinking because you are now present and connected to the experience. When we are fully present, we are creating our experience from the present moment without making assumptions. Our minds begin to open and we feel free of negative emotions or thoughts. Our minds begin to relax and we have less pressure in our head.
Meditation has been scientifically proven to reduce brain fog, lower stress, eliminate overthinking, and reduce negative thoughts and emotions because we are more aware of our behavior. Meditation allows us to connect with our body and feel more grounded, a balanced and connected to ourselves and others. We can tap into our body wisdom and intuition when we meditate which increases our ability to make better decisions and find solutions to enhance our life.
If you are new to meditation then I recommend that you start small. Find a simple practice that you can do on a daily basis. Earlier I gave the example of washing the dishes. Another one could be sitting quietly in a chair for 5-10 minutes.
Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Imagine that all of your awareness and attention is going from your head to your heart. Breathe into your heart. If it feels tight, then continue to breath until your heart opens and the pressures releases. Do a body scan and open up every area of your body. With your eyes closed activate your five senses. What do you hear? What do you see? What do you smell? What do you feel? What do you taste? Really engage your five senses.
This quick and powerful meditation develops your awareness muscle. You will begin to notice the difference between when you are in your head, and when you are present and connected to your experience. Stress and anxiety starts to melt away, and you begin to feel more light. Positive feelings and thoughts begin to enter your mind, and you will notice that you are less preoccupied with the past or the future. The overthinking has stopped. You respond instead of react. You begin to create a life by design instead of default.
It is at this point that you can then implement the seven secrets to eliminating overthinking and live your best life.
1. Clear out negative thinking patterns-let go of negative expectations. Clear out old thoughts and beliefs that no longer benefit you or keep you trapped in negative thoughts and emotions.
2. Build an optimistic mindset. Learn to look for the good in every situation. Find ways to re-frame challenging situations, and learn to bounce back from setbacks. There are many ways to do this. I have an entire chapter on his in my book “Making Happiness Last.’
3. Align your conscious desires with your subconscious beliefs. Make sure that your beliefs match what you consciously say you want. For example, if you want to be happy but believe that you don’t deserve to be happy or that it’s not safe to be happy, then your conscious desires do not match your subconscious beliefs.
4. Know yourself. Decide on the person you are going to be. Who do YOU want to be? Write it out. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What motivates you? What is your WHY?
5. Develop strong boundaries. Have a clear “yes” and a clear “no.” Don’t tell people yes when you really mean no. Set boundaries on your time, and what you will commit to. Identify the type of boundary you need to set. Is it physical? Emotional? Financial?
6. Identify and live your values. What qualities are most important to you? Is it freedom? Integrity? Honesty? Adventure? Kindness? Write out your top 5 values, and make sure that your daily activities reflects those values.
7. Invest in yourself. Spend time with yourself. If you need help, be willing to financially and emotionally invest in yourself. Work on your own personal development every day. This increases your feelings of self-worth.
