Sometimes the distance is too much in a long distance love. Here are some warning signs that your long distance relationship isn’t going to work.
They say that distance makes hearts grow fonder in long distance love. Long distance relationships can be fun and exciting. However, managing to stay in love while miles apart can be strenuous. When you notice a lag in updating each other about the events in your lives, taking longer to make calls or Facetime, you may be headed for a break-up. Your first instinct is to stick it out and salvage it. However the issues might stay the same or worsen. You need to watch out for the telltale signs that you and your long distance life drifted apart. There are subtle signs that you can use to confirm whether you need to move on or stay.
Signs that your long distance love is not going to work
1. Excuses for not calling
Healthy relationships are often based on consistent communication. They are easily identifiable by how much people keep in touch with long duration calls and most of their time chatting. Relationship experts have verified that if you no longer communicate regularly, your relationship is no longer stable. It’s one thing if the lack of communication is temporary (perhaps they are out of the country or dealing with personal issues). However, if the situation isn’t temporary, then that might be a warning sign. If for example, your partner is always giving many reasons to justify their lack of communication, take it as a sign your long distance relationship is in trouble. The excuses could be anything from running errands, too much work, or catching up on a sitcom. These are the few reasons why they may not want to make contact and these are some red flags.
2. Dry Responses
The reasons you guys are apart may range from school or work or just the timing of your relationship. Whatever the reason, committed partners must set out time to make contact with their spouses regardless of their schedules. When the other person is not committed to respond, you will notice dryness in the responses. If the responses are minimal and not leading to anything, you should take it as a bad sign in your relationship. This means the other party is less interested and enthusiastic about your company. Blunt or meaningless responses to your questions or remarks signal that their interest is waning. It could also mean they have something else on their mind. Inquire to see if there is something deeper that’s going on.
3. Not Knowing Their Whereabouts
Living miles away from you is not enough reason to not know where your partner is. If for example, your long distance love lives with roommates, it should be easy to tell because they will come up in the conversations. However, if it is not possible to tell whom they live with or where they are exactly at any point in time, they could probably be hiding something. You don’t have to know exactly where they are at all times of the day. However, if it’s becoming more frequent that they don’t tell you about their plans or if they lie about where they are going to be, it’s a sign you are likely to end up apart. Keeping their whereabouts a secret is not a good sign for a long healthy relationship.
4. You do not know members of their family or close friends
This is one of the quickest ways to raise suspicion about the future of your relationship. Keeping family and close friends out of a relationship is almost practically impossible. If your partner keeps their family or close friends a secret and not part of your conversation, it might be because your partner doesn’t want you to know about that part of their life. It is normal to at least know of the closest friends and family because they can easily come up in conversations. Besides, when they are not with you, they are likely to be spending time with their family or friends when not at work or attending classes.
Being in a relationship with someone whom you do not know any of their family members or close friends with is a little strange. It is almost as if the relationship is unreal. There are no people to support the relationship. This means you have a clear sign that the long distant relationship might not last.
5. You are not in their plans anymore
When in love in a long distance relationship, you are always included in your partner’s long term plan. Even when events do not include you, there is always a way to slot you in or set out time to compensate for the absence. When your partner begins to exclude you from their future plans, take it as a warning to your relationship. If trips to visit become one-sided or perhaps there’s no interest in planning future visits, this is a huge red flag that you’re headed for a breakup.
It is better to nurture a relationship early than wait until it is in jeopardy and then try to salvage it. This is the importance of learning to take the early signs of trouble in your LDR. Long distance relationships are exciting but it does come with challenges. Watch out for some of the signs that your long distance love might be coming to an end.
